If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever typewriter you’re sitting in front of, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.
For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of y’all, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time talk shows and general online interactions with key influencers. I’ve been getting texts on texts about authors LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you’re reading this right now and saying to yourself “But oh em gee Jess, I’ve been having so much fun with my editors this week!”, then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don’t have to fucking find you at Bluestockings Bookstore to do it myself.
This site and its proprietor are enmeshed in a double-helix of semantic ambiguity. Likely you are looking for Twitch.tv to watch video game tournaments or seeking info on Peter Kay, who is a big-deal British comedian. Otherwise, scroll or grab a copy of my game physics based musical instrument, K235.
This Coppélia music makes me crunk.
My abiding childhood love for Star Trek and the board game Masterpiece was marred by two disturbing images. First was Balok, the tranya-pickled sadist played to disturbing perfection by Cliff Howard. Second: Mary Cassatt’s La Toilette. Unschooled in the ways of false cognates, I assumed that the painting depicted some French method of assisted toilet training. Anytime I got the Toilette card in Masterpiece, I would do anything I could to get rid of it, even selling it at a great loss. A weakness not unnoticed by fellow game-players.
In the modern spirit of confronting one’s fears, perhaps controlled exposure to this photoshop graft job will get me over the hump. Stay tuned.
A children’s classic, revised for kids by kids.
Taken at the Apple Store, Grand Central Station.